written in 15 mins for a bet!

I was very lonely. Very lonely and very sad. I had been living for so long I couldn’t remember how old I was. Being a vampire is not all it’s cracked up to be. I had tried so many times to kill myself I couldn’t even remember what pain felt like anymore, as I was so used to it, physically and emotionally. There was so much to live for, everyone had said when I was mortal. But I had done everything I could think of and now nothing gave me any pleasure. Not even feeding.
I tried starving myself to death, but eventually as if on autopilot I would sort of wake up and my hands would be clutching something dead, a rat, bat, human, bird…and the blood would be gone. It was as if some animating spirit had taken hold of my consciousness. So that suicidal trick didn’t work.
Then I think sometime around 300 years old(?) I had tried slashing my wrists and bleeding to death, but each time I did my skin would just heal up almost instantly and I couldn’t keep up the slashing fast enough.
I tried the old lay in the sun trick and burn to death, but apparently I was so old all it did was brown me a nice tan. It hurt sure, but after days and days of trying it, I had to give up , because all I had was a nasty sun burn that never got worse, just never healed properly…
The last time I tried to off myself I tried to drown, but my preternatural lungs just didn’t burn, gasp or really seem to care. So after hours and hours, maybe days, of sitting under the ocean I had to give up on that too.
It was all so depressing.

Everyone I’d ever known was dead, and all the friends I made seemed to be afraid of me. The only cure to my depression I could think of was companionship; someone to while away the hours with, talking to about art and music, and my appreciation for the aesthetics in the world. After you have been alive for millennia, the only thing that has any meaning is your sense of beauty.
I would meet people in bars, clubs, bookshops, cafes, and the like and strike up conversations. But for some reason whenever we got friendly enough to hang out at my place, they always got this horrible wide eyed look of fear on their face. I don’t really see what’s wrong with bat corpses nailed to walls or paintings made of blood, after all it’s very modern.
When I would set my table to dine with my new friends I would make sure to give them the tastiest draught of blood I had stored from my last victim but they for some reason would be horrified. They would start gibbering and call me a madman and scream and scream.

I really don’t like to be left alone these days. I had to bolt the doors every time someone came over so they wouldn’t leave. And then all the screaming. It really hurts my ears. You see my ears are super sensitive being a vampire and all. So after trying everything to make my guests behave I am always forced to rip out their tongues. Then they don’t seem very happy and I feel foolish… They really try to get away then. They claw at the door and try to crash through the window. Sometimes the glass breaking kills them. Sometimes I blank out and they are dead in my arms.
It’s all so depressing.

I don’t ever want my new friends to leave. I’ve devised a way to make sure I’m never lonely again. The bodies start to smell something awful after a while, so I make sure to clean all the organs out and sew them up nice. I put preservatives on the skin. Then my friends and I have tea parties.

I prop up my friends at the table. Sometimes they slump down, and their doll heads hit the table. That makes me sad because then I can’t hear their voices anymore telling me how beautiful and smart I am. I don’t feel very close to my doll friends when they behave in this fashion. I tell them to sit up straight, and keep their eyes open- don’t fall asleep at the dinner table! The blood just drools down their lips when I try to pour them a drink, and sometimes flies come out of their eyes or mouths. I really don’t understand why they don’t swat them away.
Sometimes they don’t talk much either…. dolls can be so rude. It’s gotten to the point where even my new friends make me feel lonely.
I want to be so close to them. I cut open their fluffy skin and put it on myself. I feel so close to humanity now. I love people…. please come visit.


About Chris S.

Burgeoning Burgeon-er.
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3 Responses to Loneliness

  1. J.Jerome says:

    Edgar Allen Poe crossed with Ellen DeGeneres

  2. Chris S. says:

    lol i take that as a compliment?

  3. eliot says:

    you’re a freakin’ vampire
    try to avoid the obvious(however it’s impressive for 15 minutes)
    the tan part is hilarious

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